Tomorrow I am in hell!

For the rest of this post please substitute the word trauma for hell.

So, tomorrow starts hell where I am either in the hospital attempting to pretend I am a surgeon, or I am at home sleeping, trying desperately to re-charge my brain for another day of hell. Of course, hell can be fun....lots of fire....broken bones....automobile accidents....gunshots....stabbings. But hell also has a mean, sadistic side. One in which the members of this elite group called the hell team have no lives outside of hell. I did not sign up for hell full time, but because my regularly scheduled job in the land of fun requires that we deal with some hell on a regular basis, I am forced to spend a month in hell. I just hope the next 28 days of hell go smoothly.

My last few days of the adult ED went well, except for my last night of course. I got stuck with a drunk with a whopping head laceration that took me nearly 2 hours to close. Sucked. Because of it I got behind on my other patients and spent the rest of the night trying desperately to play catch up. I did finally catch up.....30 minutes after my shift ended. Those are the nights you wish you had a "do over" button.

Overall, the entire first month went really well. Saw some great cases. Learned alot. Of course, I also quickly realized how far I have to go in terms of experiencing and learning. I still love my job though, so that has to count!!!

Of course, hell starts tomorrow....I may have to amend my last statement ;) Have a good night!

2 weeks completed....

Tonight marks the end of my first two weeks of residency (actually the end is Sunday, but I have this weekend off). I decided to wait until the 2 week mark to add to this blog and update you on my progress in the emergency department mostly because my first night was crazy and I was hoping that it would get better. Of course, it did!!

So tonight I give you my 2 week progress report:

- I quickly realized (the first night) that my 4th year of medical school was a huge waste of time. I know that I had a better understanding of medicine after 3rd year, especially since I was studying for Step II. I now feel like I am constantly second guessing my knowledge. I strain to find the answers in my brain, answers that used to come so quickly. Every night as I leave the department and walk to my car, I mentally shuffle through everything I should read up on and after 14 days, the list is incredibly long.....already. All I can say is I hope I can learn fast!

- Learning new computer systems really slows me down! My first night was tough....lots of missed and incorrect orders. I have noticed that each day I get better with the computer, I find the medications or tests I need quicker, and my speed has increased with each shift. I still keep forgetting to "update" my patient's status which means that my patient doesn't go to CT scan in a timely manner or my Attending has no idea where I am in dispositiong the patient. Hopefully by the end of the month I get it!

- My enthusiasm for my work is beyond description!!! I love picking up patients....seeing patients....talking to patients. I have the mentality that I need to see and do as much as I can in each shift because I don't have too many of them. I have worked with a few of the second year residents and I can see they have already lost their excitement....I can only hope that my enthusiasm continues throughout my 3 years here.

- So far (I haven't worked with all of them), my attendings are awesome!! They don't hold my hand but are there to challenge my thinking and guide me. Exactly what I was looking for in a program.

Over the past 2 weeks I have seen some interesting cases and I am sure I will see a hell of a lot more. My future posts will highlight the most interesting of my patients. Of course, I will also update you on my life outside of medicine.

Speaking of which....my beer is getting warm ;) Everyone have a great night!!

Day #1

Today, August 1st is the beginning of my first shift as an Emergency Resident. Over the past month of my orientation, sprinkled here or there into lectures, I have had a couple of shadow shifts which allowed me the opportunity to see the ED, play with the computer, and carry a few patients. But today, I am the Doctor. I will be carrying 2-3 patients/hour (maybe more), coming up with my plan for each patient, placing orders, and seeing each plan to its final stage: discharge, admit, or body bag. I am hoping that none of my patients today end of in the latter.

To say that I am excited is an understatement. But in addition to feeling like a 5 year old being tucked into bed on Christmas Eve (Santa always came to our house on Xmas day), I have so many other emotions (too numerous to mention) also running wild. I feel like a comet of emotions streaking in the sky, on a collision course for RWJ University Hospital. Expected collision time: 1pm August 1st.

Today is my Rapture Day!!!! I just hope all those that come to the hospital on this particular day are ready for me.

My first post as a Resident!!

And I am about 17 days too late!!! HAHA!! Well, did you expect anything less from me?

So, on July 1st I officially began my life as a resident in Emergency Medicine. This whole entire month is dedicated to Orientation.....so far it has been alot of fun. Taking classes during the day, getting to know my fellow PGY-1's over beers and food at night....every weekend in July off....what is not to love?? Although, don't tell any of the other residents in other departments at RWJ Hospital about our "cush" schedule. They all have REALLY working on July 1st and I am sure they would not be to happy to know we have not joined them.

August 1st begins my first rotation, in the Adult Emergency Department. I am so excited to find out exactly what I don't know :) In all seriousness, I really can't wait to start. I have been waiting 4 long years to say "Hi, I'm Dr. J and what brings you into the ED today??" Although that very first patient will not know, care, or understand the situation, that first encounter will be very memorable to me!!

As always, I hope to continue to update this blog periodically throughout this next year so that all of you have the opportunity to see what being an intern is really like. Although, I can almost bet I won't do it as often as I should. But I will try!!!

Take care everyone!!!

Graduation Day....came fast and is now gone!

Saturday June 11, 2011 I walked across the stage of Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in NYC to be hooded and presented with a rolled up piece of parchment paper w/a bow that said "Saint George's University" and to stand next to the Chancellor for my all important photo op. Officially, I am done with SGU!! Feels like yesterday that I started in Grenada, and now after 4 1/2 years, I am done.

Seeing all of my friends on Saturday actually made me feel kind of sad. Because I knew that after that day, we would all go in our separate directions.....to residency in different cities...in other states. And it may be a while before I see many of them again. Some I may not see again :( I am hoping that we will all stay in touch....whether it be on facebook, or texting, or email. But I know that a few will slip through the cracks. It happens. It just sucks.

But I was happy to see all of them....so happy....family so happy.....friends so happy. I only wish the day could have been longer, or that we had more time to catch up, talk, and laugh. Now I get to do the most important thing....pick which over-priced photo package I will buy!! :)

I'm O-F-F-I-C-I-A-L!

Or as my step-dad said to me: you have been telling us you were doing this medical school thing for the last 4 years, and now I believe you! :)

I have finally received that magic piece of paper that says "MD" after my name. And I can't begin to describe what that feels like. It has been a long four years...traveling for two years to a caribbean country, living in that country, living in NYC, living on next to no money, eating pasta almost every night (and the list can go on for ever). Through all of that and more...I did it. I made it!! And I am so very happy :)

So, from this moment on you will all address me as "Doctor"! Just kidding :) Although, I have this urge to call up my credit card company and have them send me a new card with the letters "MD" after my name.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!

This morning my best friend texts me with "its the final countdown!!" Of course, since then that song is stuck in my head. So today marks my very last day as a medical student. Actually, tomorrow morning at 7am because I happen to be on my very last call night as a medical student as well. Unfortunately, this call is not so exciting or exhilarating. I have spent the last 4 hours sitting on a couch in the call room with my computer propped on my lap. I have been very productive with paying bills online, signing up for new email accounts (to reflect my name change), consolidating said email accounts with old ones, reading current news/sports, and of course....blogging! I'm thinking of watching a movie next.... At least I get to spend my last day (and night) with some great residents at Bellvue Hospital, which is a women's hospital in Schenectady, NY. Although I hate being bored, I am hoping that tonight follows the same path as the day...that is pregnant women decide to stay home instead of deliver....LOL. I need sleep too! Especially since I am driving home tomorrow morning right after I leave this hospital and I would rather not be sleepy. So tonight I go to bed as a medical student. Tomorrow, I awake as a doctor :) This day has been a very long time coming.....but it has been worth every moment!! By the way, starting tomorrow....its Doctor to you and I won't be answering to anything else!!! LOL

And the winner is................

Robert Wood Johnson, New Brunswick, New Jersey

My #1 pick!!!!! So froggin excited :) :) :)

And the verdict is........................drumroll please....

I MATCHED!!!!!! So froggin excited I can't even type fast enough to keep up with my smile :)

I find out on Thursday where I will spend the next 3 years of my life. What an awesomely amazing spectacular wondrous incredibly fantastic day!!!

Everyone have a great night!

ROL Certified = more waiting

It is official....as of 9pm tonight the match for residency positions for 2011 is closed. All rank order lists from both applicants and programs are due at this time and then the real fun begins because then some mystical computer in some far away place will determine everyone's future. Ah, the wonders of computers and modern technology. Although, I have to wonder that if a computer is picking the final results shouldn't we have them before March 14th which is officially match day? All I can hope is that this "super match computer" is not the same one that collage football uses for the BCS bowls.

I have spent the last few hours making sure my list is certified (the process did border on obsessive compulsive for a few moments). I kept having this weird feeling that I would log in and my list would magically be un-certified. So, I would really log in and see the nice green lit letters "ROL Certified" which only demonstrated that my paranoia was unfounded. I would then log off only to start thinking "what happened if during my logoff I somehow switched my list to uncertified" in which case I would log in again and breathe comfortably knowing that my list was still certified. You can continue this tennis match of certified vs. uncertified in your head for the next 20 minutes and get a feeling of how it really played out in my world. I can NOW say that I am certified and no longer need to check.....or do I? :)

In other news....I am on my 3rd week of Medicine Sub I and I still want to kill myself everyday. I have gotten to the point where during rounds I look around the patient rooms and try to find all the ways to kill myself....sort of Macgyver style. For example, today a patient was wearing a nasal cannula for Oxygen delivery and I thought, "hanging by nasal cannula". Yesterday I glanced at a patient breakfast tray and thought "food poisoning via cyanide". This game is actually quite fun and briefly takes me away from the monotony and boringness of medicine rounds. I honestly don't know how internal medicine residents survive 3 years of residency!! Good news: I only have 6 more days.

Better news: 8 more days and I am out of Brooklyn!!! :)

V-DAY!!

Yes, this day has finally arrived. You know the one....where couples are to shower each other with tacky cards, fattening chocolates, over-priced dinners and nauseating words of love. I am grateful that I don't have to partake in this one day fantasy extravaganza. No....tonight I (and countless others across this single land) will be cozying up to our favorite men....Ben and Jerry's.....and enjoying every bite :)

In other news.....my rank list is certified. After much internal debate and struggle I have picked Robert Wood Johnson in New Brunswick, NJ as my number 1 with St. Luke's Bethlehem, PA as my very close (could definitely be number 1 but I had to choose) number 2. The process was not an easy one. I spent countless hours on the internet, googling the programs.....their respective cities....the cost of living.....if there was a women's hockey team near by...if there was a Panera bread. I placed RWJ and ST. LUKE'S on 2 post-it notes, firmly attached them to my wall, and then proceeded to switch their positions back and forth...forth and back for days as if my wall was a race track and the notes were horses jockeying for the win. In the end, I just had to pick one...I just wanted the process to be over with....so.....I picked and certified. And now I wait....4 weeks exactly....and then I find out where I will be for the next 3 years of my life.

I hate waiting.

I wish everyone a happy valentine's day :)

Snow day....

So I haven't written in a while...what else is new??

Today was supposed to be my second to last day in Anesthesia at Coney Island but due to a winter storm last night in NYC (13 inches of snow has fallen) the Q/B subway to Coney is suspended as are the buses in Brooklyn, so I am stuck in my apartment. Oh yeah, its been so long since I posted you probably did not know that I started Anesthesia....well I did, and its almost done! Actually it has been a great rotation. I have intubated almost 10 patients all under the watchful eye of the Anesthesiologist.....actually, only 2 of them because these two doctors are the only ones that actually teach and allow students to do things at Coney. In fact, when they are not working I just go home. I wish I could post their names because they deserve alot of praise but I haven't asked and that would be inappropriate.

Interview season is officially over for me. It ended last Wednesday. I traveled to Lansing, Michigan to interview at Sparrow Hospital....and I loved it!!! I have spent the last week tossing around how the top of my list will shake out. I have numbers 4-9 set....but programs 1, 2, and 3 are almost impossible to rank. I can see myself at all three of them completely happy with my choice. And that is why I spend my days thinking about New Brunswick, Bethelehem, and Lansing...obsessing over their order...continuously changing their ranks...spending countless hours searching about the areas on my computer....playing scenarios over in my head....thinking I have it set and then 2 minutes later changing my mind. It is tiring and nauseating. I can't wait to just finalize my list and be done.

Of course to fully appreciate my struggle I should briefly explain the match process. Applicants (like myself) get inteviews....go on interviews....and then rank programs based on where they want to be. Programs also rank their applicants based on who they want. Then, the lists get dumped into a computer and this computer tries to match all applicants with a program. They say the process favors the applicant first, taking into account where they ranked programs and where they want to be. The hard part is....you have no idea how a program ranks you....they may say they like you and will rank you high but you just never know. Just like a program doesn't know whether applicants are truthful about where they are ranking programs. To be an applicant and believe that a computer program makes the final decision is like being a college football fan and believing in the computer to successfully rank the BCS (it just doesn't always work as past experiences have shown). You have to blindly put your faith into this system which is very hard for someone like me. The downside of this whole process is if you don't match, that is you are not paired with a program on your list because their positions are filled. Then you have to scramble which involves calling/faxing/emailing programs and begging for a residency position....sometimes a position in an area of medicine that you are not interested in....i.e. family medicine or pediatrics. I won't even begin to describe the full scramble process as it seems somewhat barbaric to me....if I end up in it then I will explain it to you.

In short, I am trying my best to differentiate 3 solid programs that all will offer me exactly what I want in terms of training....that all have great residents and attendings (from what I could tell during interviews)....that all are in great areas to live in. In shorter terms...this process really sucks.....I have until February 23rd to finalize my rank list. And the Match occurs March 14th....the wait is simply agonizing.